With the approach of Valentine’s Day many will embrace their inner romantic while they ponder and then shop for the perfect present for their significant other. Last year alone $27.5 billion were spent in the U.S. on Valentine presents, $2.9 billion for flowers and $2.5 on candy.
Which got me thinking,“What about those that are more or less challenged when it comes to the art of gift giving or romance, or those that simply wait until the very last minute?”
You see, few would describe me as a romantic, however I do enjoy a good movie that revolves around a poignant love story as much as the next person. Those that step over the line into sappy territory have this sarcastic woman snorting derisively while rolling my eyes.
And so, in honor of a season celebrated with love sonnets, tokens of affection and fat cherubs, I decided to embrace my inner cynic and seek out what other products this day of love may yield – really bad Valentine gifts that have been actually given.
After a search on the internet, I found the season of Valentines to be ripe with truly bad Valentine presents. Below is just a small sample of what I discovered.
● Expired restaurant coupons. One woman received expired coupons to a restaurant that had already gone out of business.
● Roses meant for someone else. A woman received a dozen roses with a heart filled note that unfortunately was addressed to another woman.
● Tweezers. The expensive kind. Not sure what qualifies tweezers as the expensive kind.
● A trash can.
● Toilet seat.
● A cheap, dusty, gas station, fake flower bought with the recipient’s own money, a whopping $2.
● Discounted grocery store plant that still bore its clearance sticker.
● A bag of frozen chicken nuggets.
● A windshield ice scraper.
● A pack of printer paper. – The gift-giver justified his present when he explained “Because you use a lot of paper every day at work.”
● A taxidermy squirrel – The recipients did not collect squirrels or taxidermy.
● A candle that had already been lit and had soot on the rim.
● A single potato with “I love you” carved into its side.
● A gym membership and a note suggesting the need for weight loss
● A Valentine card that was written in pencil and clearly sported evidence that it was previously used but erased.
● A half-eaten heart shaped pizza.
● A box of chocolates – with many already missing and eaten.
● Divorce papers
● A bag of onions. No explanation, just a bag of onions.
● A package of hot dogs with the explanation, “because you like food.”
● Burial plot – A husband gifted his wife with his and her burial plots.
The one thing I did notice when reading many of these entries was that the writer of the entries had often identified the gift giver as their ex.
Yep. Come Saturday many will find themselves standing in a picked over Valentine aisle at their local store struggling to find their loved one a suitable gift. Most will resort to a gift that falls into the “that’ll do” category and lie to themselves as they walk to the register thinking “it’s the thought that counts.” The fact that they waited until the very last minute and hadn’t put any actual thought into it prior to five minutes ago seems to argue against that point.
But one tip I can recommend to the last-minute Valentine shoppers and those that struggle in the art of romance – Do not purchase your gift at the gas station.
