The bright yellow tulips I purchased several days ago were lovely and upright for a long time. Glancing over at my coffee table a/k/a storage unit for magazines, books, cups, Kleenex boxes and the like, the tall beauties stood above the clutter and seemed to brighten the whole room.
Until they didn’t.
Suddenly they were drooping, broken-looking, and sad. I blamed the cat, who sat nearby (it’s a big table) and often stroked the contents of the vase with his furry cheek. The cat, however, took no notice of my scolding and continued to peer at me through the now limp petals.
Taking the remains to the kitchen, I was prepared to toss the contents into the trash when I discovered the vase was completely dry. Not a drop of water left. I’d forgotten how thirsty tulips are. Could resurrection be possible? There’s no app on my phone that could tell me. The one that recognizes rocks would be no help. Calling my master gardener friend would only embarrass me.
In a leap of Lazarus-like faith, I snipped off the ends of the stems and filled the vase with water. In moments, the bright sunny flowers raised themselves upward to their original grandeur. It was a miracle. For me, anyway. I’m not a gardener, nor can I keep real plants alive for more than a month. I’m much better at giving flowers than growing them. Still, it was a joy to see the yellow fellows upright again.
How much of life is like those flowers? We need frequent watering, too. And a secure spot in which to grow and show our colors. And a cat – but that’s a story for another day.
Several months ago I was at the grocery store, pushing my cart along, wishing I’d remembered the list that I had left at home when I was approached by a man holding a bouquet. “Here”, he said, “this is for you – and don’t worry, I paid for it,” He smiled and walked away. I didn’t have time to react, other than a quick “thank you” and stood nonplussed in the middle of the aisle. “Why me?” I wondered. “Who does this?”
Checking out, I mentioned the unexpected gift to the young woman who sorted my groceries. She told me that the gentleman in question does this same thing every time he’s in the store. “He has cancer,” she said, “and he likes to give flowers to people – it makes him happy.” Wow. Sweet and humbling at the same time, it was also a great reminder that giving helps both the giver and the receiver.
So how does this fit in with my sagging tulips?
Tending ourselves is as important as tending our flowers. Without it, we droop as well. But getting upright again isn’t hard. A kind word from a friend, a warm cup of coffee and a good book can do wonders for us.
As with the generous man in the grocery store, giving to others comes back to you. If there’s no kind word sent your way – send one along to someone else. Invite a friend for coffee or leave a larger-than-usual tip for the waitress who brings you one. No time to read? Gather together some of your never-to-be-read books and donate them to a charity. Paying it forward needn’t be expensive, time-consuming or difficult. And it is guaranteed to give you a lift.
If charity begins at home, so does self-care. Practice being kind to yourself. Recognize that you are human and will make mistakes. But you also need to recognize the positive parts of your being. Take a few minutes each day to recall the good things you have done. It might seem awkward at first, but it mustn’t be seen as bragging, or grandiose. Rather, it’s being your own cheerleader. You are likely quick to praise others – so why not keep a bit of that for yourself? Think of it as giving yourself a mental bouquet of flowers.
A few other ways to keep your spirits in a vertical position might be:
• Take a short walk, if you are able; if not, do some bending and stretching in the chair,
• Try a cell phone-free day; if a whole day is too long, try half a day (and I don’t mean the half when you are asleep),
• Send a note to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while; written correspondence is always a treat,
• Find a few things in your closet that can be donated to a charity (along with your books); maybe it’s time to get rid of that fringed jacket that you bought on a whim three years ago,
• Leaf through a dictionary and find some words you’ve not seen before; learning new things is a true mood booster,
• Clean out a junk drawer; you might find some fun things you forgot you had,
• Make a note of five things for which you are thankful; then add five more and. . .
Above all stay hydrated my friends!
