One of my favorite TV shows is “Blue Bloods.” It’s a story of a New York City family, led by a widower dad, head honcho of the NY police, his widowed father, formerly the top cop, a daughter who’s a prosecutor, a department detective son, and a plain beat-the-streets son. They and their dear ones have dinner every Sunday night at dad’s table. They represent one of the most important institutions in human experience: the family dinner.
As most humans leave the womb for this outside world, a gentle massage sets us crying. And we make our first demand: food. In most cases, Mommy knows instinctively what to do and we draw food from our most important human contact. And so the tone is set for all the rest of our life: loving human contact, and food yields comfort.
We don’t know at what point in evolution the “family” dinner became a rite. In the days when men and women spent most of their hours hunting and gathering edibles, no wonder if a meal was automatically a celebration. But later, as we learned to control our food sources, we held on to the idea that eating together in some kind of patterned behavior was a good thing. Does it still live today?
Child behavior specialists say a shared family meal at least once a day is important for a child’s physical and mental development. It’s a chance to enjoy one of our greatest and most long-lasting sensual pleasures—eating—and our warmest human connections—family.
From my own experience, I can say it’s an excellent chance to learn ways and manners that will smooth the way for all our life. Some things I learned at an early age was how to set an attractive table, the value of table conversation about common pleasantries instead of personal bragging, scary or nauseating topics, or political or religious controversies. (That’s the one thing I don’t like about the Blue Blood characters—they talk about a lot of controversial things over their plates of delicious foods.) So was conversation at the Blake table dull? Heck, no! It’s surprising how many positive topics present themselves if you’re looking for them.
Part of our family’s Easter celebration was a dinner at my niece’s and nephew’s home. We laughed and talked and remembered loved ones who weren’t there. We overate all kinds of good stuff we bring forth on such occasions. We’re a diverse group in race, politics, and religion, but we’re also alike in one aspect: we’re family.
One last thought: Is it just a coincidence that the holiest of sacred Christian rites is Communion, the re-enactment of The Last Supper? Jesus commanded us, the “family of God,” to “Do this in remembrance of me.”
The family dinner—long may it live!
Keep the faith, and—hang on! Your friend, Carol
