Jesus gave us the beatitudes in his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3-10). The key word here is “attitudes.” What attitudes in this teaching from Christ can we employ in our marriages? 

First, we are to be “poor in spirit.” This does not refer to false humility or low  self-esteem. We should not say, “I’m not worth much.” The idea is that we are not self-centered and are quick to repent when we mess up. The key phrase here is, “I was wrong.” Some people cannot bring themselves to speak those words, but they are indispensable in a healthy marriage. 

Then Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn.” This involves grieving over our sins.  The key phrase is, “Please forgive me.” It is hard to stay mad when your spouse comes up to you with a tear in their eye and utters those words. In every good marriage there are times when we need to ask our mate to forgive us. 

Meekness is the third attitude necessary for a healthy marriage. Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek.” Sometimes meekness is confused with weakness–with being a wimp or a pushover.  However, the Bible word refers to strength under control. It carries the idea of being unselfish, sensitive to the will of God and the needs of others. The key phrase here is, “Let’s do what is best for you.” If you want to be a good spouse, focus on the needs of your mate and your responsibility to meet those needs. If you want to be miserable, concentrate on your rights and your mate’s defects. 

The fourth beatitude is, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness.”  The key phrase here is, “Let’s do what’s right.” If we expect God to bless our marriages, we must be faithful to His commands. 

Then Jesus says, “Blessed are the merciful.” In order to receive mercy from your spouse, you need to extend grace to him or her. The key phrase is, “I forgive you.” Most long and happy marriages are between two people who are good forgivers. Those who cling to hurts and can’t let go of past offenses are doomed to unhappy relationships. 

Beatitude six is, “Blessed are the pure in heart.” Jesus also says in his Sermon on the Mount that I am to be faithful to my wife in heart and mind as well as in body (Matthew 5:27, 28). I have been faithful to my wife, not just because of my love for her, but because of her love for me. When a person says to me, “I have decided that my spouse doesn’t love me anymore,” I know that they are much more likely to be looking elsewhere for affection. The key phrase here is, “I love and trust you completely.” Many cannot say that. They do not have that kind of trust and unconditional love. It is beautiful when you can sincerely speak those words. 

The final beatitude we consider here is, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Some married people would rather make war than make love. God blesses those who strive for peace.  Peacemaking is not always easy, but it is worth the effort. The key phrase is, “I will make allowances for your bad days.” This requires agape love–unconditional commitment regardless of our feelings. Some days I don’t feel like loving my wife and she sometimes doesn’t feel like loving me. But what a beautiful thing it is when we love each other anyway. 

These beatitudes will work in marriage or any other relationship. The One who created us guarantees it.

Brian Giese

The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of The Kewanee Voice.

***This column is sponsored by the Kewanee Ministerial Association